Fuhgeddaboudit!

The last week has been pretty awful.  Not paleo-wise, just period.  I’m so. freaking. tired. all the time.  Then I spent the whole weekend trying to come to grips with the idea of starting the whole nutrition tracking tomorrow and it just stressed me out.  And the more stressed I got the more I slept.  Now the weekend is gone, I haven’t accomplished anything, and I’m even more stressed out.  I just want to sleep, sleep, sleep.  Then today I got to thinking that I’ve experienced this before, several times, and when it hit me what it was I was shocked – depression.  But Paleo is supposed to cure depression!  When the ramifications hit me I was floored.  I was upset and confused and it was such an overwhelming thought that I didn’t even want to think about it.

Now, I’ve never been convinced that I’ve ever actually been depressed.  I’m not a negative person.  I don’t feel “down”.  But I will go through periods where I’m just extraordinarily tired.  In the past when this has happened I’ve gone to my doctor and he’s put me on anti-depressants despite the fact that the only symptom I’ve ever had that could even be related to depression is the tiredness.  Needless to say I do NOT want to go that course now.   Leaving my doctor out of the scenario means doing a little self-analyzation.  Since I do this as a matter of course anyway it’s fairly easy.

Thankfully, logic is a relatively quick path to follow.  When I considered that every other time that I have experienced these same symptoms it was also accompanied by severe stress the bell went off and the dogs started barking. 

Every year for Christmas my mother does everything.  She decorates her house, buys all the gifts and wraps them, and cooks dinner.  All I have to do is show up.  I was recently informed that my mother has decided to go to Canada this year and spend Christmas with my brother.  Now I don’t have a problem with not having Christmas.  I’d just as soon fuhgeddaboudit.  I doubt very seriously, however, if my two daughters will permit that.  So now I must contend with decorating, shopping, and planning a special feast.  Besides this stress I’m still trying to pay the thousands of dollars in medical bills related to my metabolic syndrome.  I’ve also been trying to “fall” clean and my exercise equipment is covered in clothes that I need to box up to donate to charity.  The kitchen is full of baskets of clothes that need to be washed because I’ve been spending so much time reading and researching Paleo that I’ve let the housework slide.  And all of these little stresses add up to a lot of stress that I simply can’t cope with and so…I sleep.  As if sleeping will somehow eliminate the stress. 

So…you take all of that and add to it the additional stress of attempting to track my nutritional intake and you’ve got a serious meltdown condition.  BUT – since I now realize that it’s most likely the stress that’s causing me to be so freaking tired, I no longer feel it’s necessary to track my nutrition.  Yay!  Now, of course, remains the rather large task of reducing all this stress.  Time to take a bite out of the elephant.

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5 responses

  1. Melissa

    I just discovered your story on robbwolf.com and, in reading the comments, saw that you had actually started a blog. I can’t wait to read it and check out your blogroll.

    I’m on a waiting list for the CrossFit orientation (February!), but that’s where I learned about Paleo. I’ve now read the book and most of the robbwolf blog. I’m cleaning the pantry and anxious to get going.

    In summer ’09 I did, under the advice of my naturopathic physician, a one month elimination diet – somewhat similar to paleo. I felt so much better, but did I stick with it? Nah.

    I’ve discovered that I can’t eat sugar or dairy at night or I wake up with a headache. I’ve discovered that too much gluten gives me those “other” issues. So, what am I waiting for? LOL! No more waiting!

    I have terrible arthritis in my knees and just had one scoped. And, really, the worst is never waking up refreshed. I could go on. The point is, your story really resonated with me.

    As for the holidays – you don’t have to “do it all.” One thing that helps us is the think about what ends up in the landfill if we buy it or buy into it!

    Again, I look forward to reading. Thanks! I’ll let you know how it goes.

    December 17, 2010 at 7:34 am

  2. Melissa

    PS – OMG! The reference to the order of eggs in the carton just about caused me to fall of my chair! Parallel lives…

    December 17, 2010 at 7:56 am

  3. Melissa, I am so glad that my story motivated you! I can’t stop telling people how much better Paleo has made my entire life. Please do keep me posted! I love hearing everyone’s Paleo stories. And us newbies have to stick together! Motivation is key and having people who are in the thick of it with you make a huge difference. I get tweets all day and I keep most of it Paleo and CrossFit related so I keep that momentum going all the time. Congrats on taking a HUGE step forward in creating a healthy and vibrant YOU! (As for the eggs – as much as I try to keep my OCD under control, I still do the egg thing. LOL)

    December 17, 2010 at 11:32 pm

  4. v

    can your daughters help you? how old are they? i’m not good about keeping up with housework, but i reach a point where even my mess meter goes off. that’s when it’s all hands on deck and they have to help. cleaning is also moving and is good for us.

    December 27, 2010 at 9:08 am

  5. The girls are certainly old enough to help, but being OCD I end up re-doing everything anyway. I’ve thought about “training” them in the ways I like things, but it seems unfair to subject them to my unrealistic expectations. Plus I’m afraid I will instill that bizarreness in them as well and I’d rather they were normal. I’m definitely a work in progress! 😀

    January 2, 2011 at 2:24 pm

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