The Paleo Blues

Woke up this morning
Not a stitch I could find
Not one piece of clothing
Would fit my behind

Because it’s gone!
Yeah, my drawers are fallin’ down
Because it’s gone!
My hiney done went and left town

The Wolf-man he done tol’ me, “Girl, you gotta eat da fats.”
I told him what had happened and he said, “Holy Cats!”
Cause my seat is baggin’
My shirts are saggin’
And my pant legs are trippin’ my feet
I got no cash for clothes cuz it all goes for grass-fed beef

I got dem Blues
Oh, dem Paleo Blues
And Time, well she don’t mean a thing
Cuz I know in a coupla weeks
The new pants that I buy today
Will be draggin’ ’round my sneaks
I got dem Blues

Got rid of the grains
Got rid of the sweets
Now all o’ my jeans
Are fallin’ to my feet

Because it’s gone!
Yeah, my rear is out of here
Because it’s gone!
My metabolism finally got in gear

I try to listen when Erwan says to move nat-ur-al-ly
But how can I Free the Animal when my clothes are swallowing me?
No more auto-immune
And I’m allergy-free
And they’re never coming back
But I’m lookin’ like the bag lady that lives under the tracks

I got dem Blues
Oh, dem Paleo Blues
I’m eating meats and nuts and seeds
And scarfing tons of fat
But my wallet can’t keep up with me
Cause my clothes fall off too fast
I got dem Blues

I got dem
Wild caught fish and pastured pork
Yard bird eggs and chicken legs
Coconut oil and bacon fat
Snatching, jerking
Deadlift working
Pain-free and
Coma-sleeping
Now all my clothes are too big for me
Paleo Blues

The sista needs some threads, ya’ll.

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9 responses

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention The Paleo Blues « Cave Girl 101 -- Topsy.com

  2. Carolle

    Did you record it with music yet?? Would make an awesome song.

    January 21, 2011 at 6:51 pm

    • Not yet! I’ve got the music in my head though. Maybe someday. 😀

      January 21, 2011 at 10:21 pm

  3. paleo-tyro

    Hello Cheryl I just finished reading your testamonial on Robb Wolf’s site and I just wanna ask how you’re doing now? Have you lost any weight since then? Have you been doing cross fit? How are your energy levels?

    I’ve been on the diet for 14 days now and I’ve already lost 2% body fat.

    Also wanna ask how is your sleep and cortisol levels? As you know following Robb’s blog that elevated cortisol levels(Which is why overtraining is bad) and a disruptive sleep pattern can spike insulin levels making it difficult to lose weight.

    As per Robb’s advice, get blackout curtains, turn off every last LED light, throw away the alarm clock and sleep longer.

    And more recently I’ve read his recommending Vitamin C supplementation in the evening. “Emergen-C”. Apparently vitamin C at the 1000mg amount has been clinically proven to significantly decrease elevated cortisol levels from accute and chronic stress. So if you find your mind racing in bed, start taking Emergen-C an hour or two before bedtime. Or even if you don’t find your mind racing, take it anyway after a days work, or after a paritcularly stressing event or day. Ever since I started taking it I’ve noticed that I just better cope with days of unrelentling, constant, energy zapping stress, like a champ. That and when I wake up now I feel refreshed and alert.

    February 1, 2011 at 1:43 pm

  4. Hey, paleo-tyro! I’ve been doing fantastic, thanks for asking! I’ve lost 55 lbs so far and have a tremendous amount of energy. I’m no longer doing CrossFit for the reasons you mentioned. I do love the heavy weights, however, so I’m focusing on strength training and that I’m only doing three days a week.

    I did go through a stressful period that affected my sleep, but once I figured out what was going on I was able to get the situation corrected and my sleep went back to coma-like. 😀 Taking the electronics out of my bedroom, covering my LED displays, and getting blackout curtains was one of my first paleo acts. I don’t have a bedroom – I have a cave. 😀 I appreciate the advice about the Emergen-C though. Anything that helps is appreciated!

    One of the best changes I made after starting Paleo was the addition of IFing this month. It has made a *tremendous* difference in how fast the weight is coming off. If you haven’t added IF into your diet I highly recommend it.

    Thank you so much for taking the time to come by and check on me. 🙂

    February 1, 2011 at 7:17 pm

    • paleo-tyro

      Haha Cheryl I was just about to recommend that to you too. I just learned about leangains today. Saw what they were doing at the freeanimal and I was intrigued.

      It seems pretty difficult to implement though. At least for me since I can’t stuff my face in anymore. From my understanding you have 16 hours of fasting (8 hours of sleep is factored into this followed by an 8 hour period of eating. You;ll have three meals in this period of 8 hours. Meal 1 is your prework out meal, consists of 20% of your total intake, meal 2 is your post work out meal which will contain about 50% of your total intake, and your last meal before bed will consist of 30% of your total caloric intake.

      It looks pretty simple but apparently this kind of fasting will turn on some pretty interesting genes.

      Also, as far as strength training is concerened I recommend Starting Strength though probably know about that already. There’s a nice wikia on it.

      A few more recommendations, magenisum supplementation. Probably the most important supplement you can get. It controls things such as ATP production, muscle relaxation, among other things. My migraines have stopped since using it. I know it’s one of the supplements Robb recommends in his book as well. This is the best brand there is (Not only is the creator a gold medal olympian but he trains gold medalists currently and acitvely uses this supplement in their training):
      http://www.calmnatural.com/nutrition-world-class-athletes

      Also if you use the comp late at night use FLUX. It adjusts the light emitting from your screen, basically takes out the blue light during the evening.

      http://www.stereopsis.com/flux/

      February 7, 2011 at 8:35 pm

  5. I had to come visit your site after reading your testimonial on Robb Wolf’s site. An amazing lifestory and I glad things are going well for you. I got back to Paleo on January 3rd (this time cold turkey) and have seen amazing benefits! I feel so much better which was the only reason I decided to try Paleo again. Of course I’ve lost quite a bit of weight this first month and I’m quite happy about that. I just wanted to tell you that I love your layout especially the header. Why didn’t I think of that? 🙂

    February 2, 2011 at 9:46 pm

  6. @paleo-tyro – I’m way ahead of ya! I already own Starting Strength, I’m currently taking magnesium as well as Vitamin D, and I downloaded Flux months ago. 😀 I don’t follow any particular rx for my IF though. I changed it up last week intending to put it on a schedule rotating 16 and 20 hour fasts with one 24 hour fast per week, but I ended up fasting longer for several days and these last two days I’ve fast for 24 hours each before eating just one meal. I’m pretty much just listening to my body. When I get hungry, I eat. That’s the amazing thing about Paleo – it truly is satiating. My worry now is making sure I eat enough to support the work I want to do!

    @Robin – I really appreciate you coming by to check on me and I really appreciate the compliments! I was going for the whole “cave” motif and I figured, what could be more appropriate than Darryl Hannah in Clan of the Cave Bear? 😀 Congrats too on your paleo success! Paleo totally rocks! And it couldn’t be easier. 🙂

    February 7, 2011 at 9:02 pm

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